I don't know about the rest of you women but in our house CHAD has made it quite clear that FALL means Football. He LOVES BYU football!!! I've seen my husband cry 4 times and two of those times were during or after a football game. He is happiest when: watching football, BYU just won, or he is watching BYU football highlights. He loves watching OLD BYU football games. But you never know if it's old or new because he gets just as excited either way. The best way to explain his obsession would be; he was 45 mins late to our wedding because there was a football game on that night.
Chad was able to go to the game this last Saturday in Texas. He was so excited that he was on two sports stations and on the Deseret news sports page, he got his whole section to get up and cheer and at the end of the game lost his voice and threw up from all the screaming and excitement. Later that night I received a voice message of him crying saying how happy he was and that it was the best day of his life.
While waiting in the off season he wrote me some rules to fallow this fall.
BYU GAMEDAY RULES
1. Do not EVER bring "something to do" to a game.
2. Do not EVER utter the words "sit down."
3. EVERY football game is important, whether BYU is playing or not. Every game involves a team that BYU has played, might play, is ranked behind, is ranked just ahead of, or plays someone who plays someone who plays BYU. Do not ever ask "why are you watching that game?"
4. A BYU football game is an all-day event. It begins with the morning newspaper, where you can find team analysis and predictions. It continues with the pre-game television and radio programs. After the game, there are post-game shows, which end with the late-night ESPN College Gameday wrap up. It doesn't matter if we already know the scores, and it doesn't matter if we have already heard the information on another show. Every show must be watched/listened to.
5. If BYU is not playing that day, see rule #3.
6. Going to a game is not an opportunity to spend "quality time together," unless your definition of "quality time" includes an in-depth discussion of a safety blitz or double TE formation.
7. Wear blue to the games. I don't care if your shoes match.
8. It is never appropriate to feel sorry for the other team. I don't care how far they are behind, or how many tears their cheerleaders shed.
9. Don’t tell me to quiet down when I’m cheering for BYU while watching a rebroadcast of a game I’ve already seen. It’s a proven fact that my guys do better, even during a replay, if I cheer for them.
10. If BYU wins, be prepared to discuss and evaluate the performance of each player.
11. If BYU loses, it is not the end of the world. Just don't talk to me for a while.
12. We don't need to leave early to beat the traffic.
13. Please make an effort to learn the game well enough to carry on a meaningful "gameday conversation." When I say: "Pitta sure cleared out the middle with that crossing pattern," the appropriate response would be something like: "Yes, it allowed Unga to get an extra 10 yards once he broke through the line."
14. I don't mind explaining the rules, but don't ask while a play is being run.
15. No, the offense is not allowed to move before the ball is snapped. Yes, the defense is. Deal with it.
16. Stadium dogs just taste better.
17. Yes, I need to get a program for every game.
18. No, their butts do not look cute in those pants.
19. We do not need to time our arrival to the stadium to get there just at kickoff. It's OK to be early.
20. We must be respectful of the opposing team's fans. It is not nice to make fun of the mentally handicapped.
21. With respect to the other teams in the MWC, this is how we see them:
Air Force: The team we respect the most, especially after 9/11.
Colorado State: Stupid because they have so much potential but never deliver, making our conference look bad.
New Mexico: They are not good enough for us to REALLY hate, but we do anyways because of their (former) coach, Rocky Long – who is a retard.
SDSU: Perennial underachievers, despite having the best location in the MWC; they are the embarrassment of our conference.
UNLV: Think they're much better than they really are.
Utah: Our worthy opponent. We want them to win every game so that when BYU beats them we can gloat all the more. When they beat us, please don’t talk to me about it…ever.
Wyoming: Drunken Mormon-haters who make recruiting difficult for our conference. We would be happy if they were kicked out and replaced by someone like Boise State.
22. Don't ask me to justify the list in #21. That's just the way things are.
23. A tight, 3-point victory over Utah is satisfying. A 60-point victory over Utah is preferable.
24. Don't ask me to explain why the MWC champ plays the fourth ranked team in the Pac-10. It just sucks, and brining it up will only make me angry.
25. Craig Thompson has gotten a bad rap among BYU fans. He has done a couple of good things for the MWC. Mostly, he is just an idiot.
26. The BCS is the single biggest fraud in college sports today. Don't ask me why, unless you intend to spend the rest of the day discussing it, and don’t ever, EVER point out any “good” that it does.
27. Yes, I'd still feel the same way about the BCS if BYU were included.
28. Yes, sometimes I swear at the refs. No, I don't need to talk to the Bishop about it.
29. Saturday + Fall = College Football. Don't try to change it. Just live with it.
30. Rebroadcasts of the game at a later time must be watched as well.
31. Helmets are not called "hats."
32. Do not ask us to accompany you to the restroom.
33. Uniforms are not "outfits."
34. No, football games are not just 60 minutes.
35. We have to stay to the end of blowouts. That's the part where we can see next year's players.
36. No, it is not a little "fishy" for them to hold hands in the huddle
P.S. I am a Utah state fan. But like when the cougars win because how happy it makes Chad.
I have finished my internship and am now working for Keith. I am in charge of his retail. I am excited to work for him and I think that I will be learning a lot of new and fun things.
